More Meat than Rice!

Dear fit, work out everyday people, stop calling yourself fat just bcuz you missed a day of gym or God forbid ate some carbs. There are some of us out here big like houses, fighting the battle of the bulge for years with many setbacks and disappointments. Dear people who are doing well stop calling yourself broke when the reason you cant afford your most recent desire is bcuz youve taken probably 5 trips for the year. Some of us out here really struggling to meet our bills; borrowing from one spot to repay another. Dear ugly people, please, please stop calling yourselves snacks. Nobody wants to eat you. You is ugly. Not your fault. Genetics are tricky. You still ugly tho.  Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!

Dear Avril, (the one who does make the HEXPENSIVE plantain and cassava chips dem). There is a heavy-handed SALTER in yuh factory who salt down mih whole entire bag of plantain chips. You must find that person and promote them to Quality Control Manager bcuz girl dis de best yuh chips and dem ever taste. Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!

Last night I dreamt my sister and I starring in a scripted comedy/reality competition alongside Melissa McCarthy and PDiddy in the Soca Kingdom for a World Cup Machel Monday of epic Proportion. Anybody have Yesenia Gonzales phone number? Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!

Now since I small my foot big. People used to ask me if I wearing mih father shoes. Today when I getting dressed mih size 13 watch mih cut eye and ask me "where you feel you fitting dat big foot?" It hard as ass to get big foot shoes. What I go do now? Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!

We were sitting in the middle of that old park on Fayette Street, (I could never remember the name) the one opposite the Merrill-Lynch building, and I was worried. It was the height of summer and it was hot and sticky. It always was at this time of year, but it felt different. The park seemed to groan around us as the slightest breeze worked its way around, temporarily relieving the suffocating dampness all around us. It should have relaxed me I guess, but instead in that moment I felt terribly cold and it seemed that I was not alone. The leaves hissed, almost curled in contempt and they burned their darkest green, in seeming retaliation to the brief change. Their sudden movement caused the bright mid-afternoon sun to come piercing through in fleeting diamond-shaped shards that jabbed and sliced across shaded areas beneath the trees; daggers I thought to myself as they fell across my face and burnt spots that had been cold just moments before. The heat was rising in shimmering waves...

I absolutely adore makeup and what it achieves when it is correctly applied. My name is Sunil W and I’ve been using makeup for a number of years. It’s been my pleasure to have worked on a wide range of people from drag queens to brides, models and beauty queens and of course John and Jane public. I became interested in makeup application in the later part of my teenaged years when assurances that my acne filled skin would soon clear up, failed to come to pass. At that time, my focus was creating fresh flawless skin, a task which would prove a lot more difficult than I imagined. Now, 462 pots of foundation, millions of foam wedges later, I’ve become recognized for my work and willingness to share my skill. There is only one fixed rule in makeup application; HAVE FUN! Everything else can be manipulated to achieve the desired look A person’s makeup kit is actually their personal bag of tricks. Once you understand the basics of makeup application, you’ll soon realize that what is r...

In d face of Covid and the new normal, man just cyah come and go as they please anymore. So we hadda find a new way of doing things; this includes entertaining the people man. So in d spirit of lock-down diplomacy, how yuh does go about asking a woman to borrow she man for a quick appointment? Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!

The way my pride is set up  I could be home crying your name into my pillow every nite but you will never hear from me again. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!

Maria Conchita Paloma Juana Garcia-Benjamin-Lutchman-Benjamin-Gill-Valentine was the most beautiful woman I did ever see in mih whole, entire seven years of life. She was prettier than my own mother. And yuh know at that age it ain’t have nobody bigger, better, brighter, stronger, smarter or prettier than yuh own mother. Well she, Maria, was prettier than my own mother. My mother didn’t wear fancy clothes like her or comb up her hair and wear lipstick and eyelash and all of those things. My mother sure would never be caught with her breasts pushed up high under her chin and be wearing stockings with seams down the back and toeless, high-heeled shoes with gold buckles at the ankles either. My mother wouldn’t be caught dead outside the house with her hair flying all around her head in so many curls and coils look like she alone had hair for about five people. My mother surely didn’t have bright red, long nails to match her lips. My mother…well you get the picture. She was the most beaut...

To my sisters, females specifically.  You need to be each other's keepers.  There are often situations where a woman is beaten or killed or the victim of some other kind of abuse or violence and one can hear other women ill-speaking her or supposing that the woman is somehow at fault.  There is NO REASON for violence or the abuse of ANYONE much less by a man against a woman. I've heard women say things like "well and she want to horn?" OR "she must be do something form him to beat  her so".  I've even heard a woman say "well look how she does be getting on; SHE LOOK for that".  MADNESS. MADness I say. If women are not looking out for women then who is? Bcuz guess what; these men, who you fighting for and clamouring over and giving a pass and whatnot, they gonna do the same thing to you.  The next time you hear someone utter some foolishness about "she Look for dat" ask her if she would say the same if it were her own daughter ...

Well the real shit is how I end up in the middle of a cafe in Belmont in a towel tuck into a panty. "I lose mih bag I lose mih hat i lose mih clothes I lose mih keys i lose mih wallet." "yuh lose yuh bag yuh lose yuh hat yuh lose yuh clothes yuh lose yuh keys yuh lose yuh wallet? Jesso jesso? yuh wallet? jesso?" "he lose he bag he lose he hat he lose he clothes he lose he keys he lose he wallet? Jesso jesso? He wallet? jesso?" Allyuh yuh know is shit we like so by the time the third somebody repeat it you know is because they make a whole rhythm section and man wining like this ain't one of the saddest and most peculiar things they ever did see: a grown man stand-up normal normal in the middle of a stranger kitchen in a towel and a panty. Well yuh remember how the Corona come and mash up Carnival 2021, so the government decide to treat the big football match and dem like it was a small carnival nah. So say come and all the teams come in the ...

Picture it: Frederick street a little after high noon. The beauty is zantay-ing her body up the busy street 3 or 4 packs of brazillian remy / Peruvian wavy / Mongolian light or Russian Fedde. which ever, is on her head. A glorious breeze floods the street and I glance back across at the beauty whose luxurious hair has been captured by said breeze to reveal A SETTA SCALP. I too shame fuh she. tears come een mih eye yes! Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!