"Straight man" Chronicles - Ep. 3

SO I on the avenue beating mih body one nite.
Yuh stroll up to me and call mih name.
We chat for a 2 minutes and yuh went your way.
Now I slightly moist bcuz I always knew you would glow up but not THIS MUCH.
SO couple days later I gets on the Facebook and add you as a friend, bcuz I decide I hadda throw my corn.
**NB**
Now by all the 9-10pm hour man done message around, and more often than they'd like to admit, done get blank from their regular roster of birds.
AND I happen to know for a fact that from about half-past midnite to around 2:26am man does be online looking for ANY trouble to dip...I mean drown they sorrows in.
****
SO being myself I didnt waste any time on small talk.
I jump een yuh INBOX and say what on my mind.
Oh, yuh take off behind me talkin about how you despise "homosexual sex and everything that it represents" and all kindsa long talk.
SO I hit yuh a full-on "burr???" like Scooby-Doo when he confused bcuz i confused now too.
And I harken back (Oh yes we Harkening) to 2009 on a cold wintry night in Baltimore MD, when my ears get hot jes so jes so.
I get up and run by the window bcuz usually when the signs dem showing it mean something going down.
Nothing in the window.
SO I run by mih suite door and look in the peephole
Nothing in the peephole.
I say Lord what is this Jesus?
The Lord say go and check facebook quick quick.
Now that time yuh know facebook was the place to be.
Everybody profile open, yuh could talk to who yuh want.
The book was juicy then (not like now) and I honestly put the Maco in MacoBook.
Get into a conversation with an old QRC school mate who told me a very interesting story about you getting KETCH plugging up somebody son socket downstairs the North BLock I think it was?
Not to mention the evening in form 4 when we did go home by you and yuh REDACT!! REACT!!! REDACT!!!!!
WAY SAH! File start to fall open dey yes.
Allyuh I gone!
Yours Sincerely.
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Life - It ain't easy but it sweet!

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